hello labug Thanks for your response. Philosophically, I'm not sure I can agree that the goal of DB is to change yourself. Michele's Divorce books are about how to save a marriage. Everyone on this forum has the improvement or salvation of the their marriage as their goal.
I was going to post a reply to this as I felt it's not quite correct, but then I kept reading and your next comment is much more on target in my opinion:
Originally Posted By: KLB
I look at this DB process as pursuing a goal of getting my wife back through the process of self transformation. I pray that I achieve my goal, but if I don't I will be better as a person than when I started. Which serves my family well, anyway.
Yes, that is exactly it! Many of us start DB'ing specifically to get our M back, but somewhere in the process we come to realize it's as much about changing ourselves into better people as it is about getting the M back. And once you reach that stage of understanding, you also realize that you are going to emerge better off whether the M is saved or not. And that is the TRUE goal
