Righting my Marital ship; 1st stop: Retrouvaille

[LITB]

I must admit that I was in panic mode on Friday.

One of the biggest realizations is what I mentioned about having a taste of independence and knowing that I will be okay on my own. I needed to adjust my perspective. That is really weak on my part. WEAK.

I didn’t come this far to simply give up. My W asked me to be patient. I let her know that I am not going anywhere and I will be a source of strength in whatever she needs me to be.

For the most part, I understand our R/M. It is always a matter of identifying issues and taking action to overcome them. I had gotten a bit complacent and was running on cruise control. Time to take more initiative on leading our M and our family.

This was our first big test since reconciliation. It sukked, but it was a necessary awakening. Thank the good Lord that we had our Retrouvaille post session on Saturday. She did not want to go in. When we got there, we talked a bit and I just opened the door and said, “time to go in”. It was the best thing that happened.

Her demeanor completely changed over the course of the day. It was remarkable. During our open discussion, one person who we have become good friends opened up on his struggles, which struck a chord with my W. Also, the H of our presenting couple has dealt with many of the same issues as my W and he has been a source of inspiration and encouragement.

A little later in the day during another open discussion(I want to point out that this is voluntarily), she opened up and shared her own struggles. I was pleasantly surprised. This took a lot of courage on her part.

Later when we dialogued, I thanked her for opening up and let her know that I was proud of her. I really was. It was a huge step for her.

As difficult as it is to not take things personal, many of the obstacles that stand ahead are personal for her. They are not about me. I will be here for her in our journey. I made that promise.