Thank you Mrs, Snodderly and KML for your posts. They are much appreciated.

Originally Posted By: snodderly

I honestly don't believe the ow was fighting for your friendship. I think your friend told you that just to keep you on the string. I've heard and seen these types of comments made by mlcers before and it is their way of "conning" us into hanging around.


I do not know what to believe with that one. What I am certain of is even if she is "fighting for our friendship", she has no idea exactly what our relationship was. He can easily spin that we were always "just friends" and she would be none the wiser - or ignoring it for her own reasons. In any event, for me, it backfired as I feel less likely to hang onto someone whose new girlfriend is the one calling any of the shots.

Originally Posted By: snodderly
I wouldn't return his calls. He needs to make a decision about what he wants and stop stringing you along. He's using you for his emotional fix and as long as you allow him to do so, he will continue doing it. Take back your self respect and allow him to wallow for a bit. He needs to respect you for the fine young lady that you are.


Thank you Snodderly - and KML. Unfortunately, I did not see your posts (no computer access this weekend) before returning the call - but I did take three whole days which is unheard of for me (when anyone calls, actually). I got his VM at first, but within the hour, he called back.

We talked for a bit - nothing emotional, personal - mainly about his work. I did not ask about OW, nor thank heavens did he volunteer information this time. It was a friendly conversation. Then I said I had to go (per DB Rules). I did not end the conversation, as I ususally would with a "talk soon" and neither did he. The truth is the whole conversation felt surreal and for me, very sad.

So, back to the shadows for me. Snodderly, said that you would not call him back at all. Is that more in line with what KML recommended and wait until there is more than one contact from him? That seems to be consistent with most of the information threads around the "going dark" and "LRT" advice. I know he needs to miss me but I don't feel that I am at the last, last resort technique just yet. I am not discounting it or your sage advice if that is what you advocate, I am just not ready for it this minute. I guess I am not ready to force a decision from him that will certainly not include coming back to me.

I wish I did not miss him so much or love him so much. Everything just feels off. GAL is difficult right now with all the other crap going on. Meditations are helping but I need to be more consistent.

I hope everyone has a good day - or at least a productive one!