He's Just Not That Into You - The Sequel

[mamabird]

One last thing and then I'll stop rambling and get on with my day. This feeling of "not being good enough" is especially tough for me. I spent the last 5 years working for a boss where I had the same dynamic. Nothing I did was ever good enough for her, so eventually I just quit my job and that resolved it. But that was after 5 years of psychological damage from her, being reinforced at home by H.

I do think there were some elements of that in my upbringing. My mother was fairly critical and glass half empty - she would be the type of person to look at a sparkling clean kitchen and say "You missed a spot." I never thought about having this "trying to please" dynamic in my own relationships but maybe it's a factor since I keep seeming to repeat that pattern. I guess with a boss you don't choose it and things certainly weren't that way with H when we got married.

H said he would "make an effort to try" to understand why that's such a gut wrenching feeling for me, which I guess at this point is the best I can ask for.