Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[someguy1233]

It was an interesting weekend. This may be a longer post, but please stick with me.

W quit her job on Friday. This was her number one stress in life. I talked with her Friday afternoon and she seemed so happy. I could hear the relief in her voice. She went out Friday night and partied with her old coworkers and friends. It was originally going to be a “ladies night” with girlfriends, but everyone decided to party together. She came home around 7AM Saturday morning. She said she stayed at a hotel with her girlfriends.

Saturday
*She spent most of the day being pretty hung over. She snuggled VERY close to me in bed when she got home… basically laying on top of me.
*She had on a simple outfit but looked amazing. Knowing how she’s self-conscious about her body lately, I made a comment about how great she looked. She lit up with happiness at the comment.
HERE’S THE BIG ONE
*At one point in the morning she looked at me and said:
W: You know what I think? I think you’re a great dad, a great husband, and an all-around amazing person. I think we should stay married.
M: Really? Ok (I noticed S needed his diaper changed and scooped him up to walk to the other room. W followed)
W: So what do you think?
M: I think that’s good. But we definitely have some things to work on. (W seemed sad and walked away.) You seem disappointed. Are you?
W: Well would you have said the same thing if I said I wanted a divorce? ‘Ok. Well we have things to work on.’
M: W, I think this is great. But I’m also tired of this cycle. We keep doing this on-off-on-off and I’m tired of it. We have work to do to keep this from happening again.
W: Well you’re fine. You’re a great husband. You’re not the crazy one. But I want to be married if you’ll have me.
M: Yes, but we have work to do.
W: What do you want to do?
M: I don’t know right now. But we’ll have to figure something out.

*She held my hand as we drove to the store later in the day.
*As she was making lunch she said she was doing her “wifely duty.” She then said, “I suppose I should start doing some other wifely duties as well.” She was referring to ML. I laughed and said “that would be nice.” She said, “It would be so weird because it’s been so long.”
*That night we went out for dinner and a couple drinks. She started talking about some things that need to change, etc.
1. She said that she’s not a good person.
2. She said that she got bored. She woke up one day and realized that we spent the last two months sitting on the couch.
3. I asked if she wanted to go to Retrouvaille. She said she didn’t want to but would because she knew it was important to me.
4. We talked about things to do instead of sitting on the couch. Everything from volunteering, to small overnight trips, to going out to new bars, etc.
5. She said she can’t guarantee anything. She feels that I can guarantee marriage forever and that I’m committed. She said she can’t make any guarantees but she wants to make it work.
6. She said that I need hobbies. I need my own passions. She said that she feels like she has to be my everything and that one person can’t be everything for someone. She explained that she gets some things from me, some from her coworkers, some from her girlfriends… she explained that one person can’t be everything for another.

*As we went to bed she said “I love you” and snuggled close.

Sunday
*She laid on me on the couch as I relaxed in the morning.
*We danced in the kitchen.
*We put up the Christmas tree. It was a fun relaxing time.
*She wasn’t herself much of the day. She blamed it on her period.
*She sat on my lap as I was sitting in a chair looking at the tree.
*Her phone was sitting on the table and I saw a text. It was from possible OM. It read, “No! Why would you think that?” I didn’t tell her that I saw it. Soon after her phone was back on the counter upside down.
*This caught me off guard and I got angry. I tried to remove myself and go outside, but she picked up on my anger before I left the room. She asked what was wrong and I said, “nothing.” I came back inside and began acting happy again.
*She gave me a soft kiss. I let her and then slightly pulled back. She said she was trying to help get the “F-OFF” look off my face.
*After S went to bed she wanted to watch TV. She asked me if I wanted company on my couch. I said, “sure.” She made a comment about hating how uncomfortable my couch is but came over and snuggled very close. She slowly caressed my side as we watch the show.
*When we went to bed she said goodnight and gave me a quick kiss.
*As I left for work this morning she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

What to do???
I don’t know what to do from here. There’s the issue of the possible OM (who’s moving across the country in January).
I don’t want to move to fast and scare her away. But I don’t want to move too slow and seem uninterested.
I don’t know what we need to do to make this last and keep this constant cycle from happening again. She seems to flip/flop every six months.