We had a big fight on Thursday because he said I was going back to my old ways. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Did you ask him what those "old ways" are? Find out what his concerns are and do 180's on those things. Truly ask yourself if you are going back to old ways. The fact that this ended up as an argument and not a discussion makes me think that the two of you are falling back into old patterns and have not progressed. If you're on board with DB'ing then you should have taken his concerns seriously and validated them back to him. When is the last time you read DR? You should be constantly reading it while you're going through this sitch because we all have to constantly remind ourselves of what proper DB'ing is to avoid falling into old patterns.
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So when he came to get stuff I demanded reason why and that he didn't give us a chance and he wouldn't hear a thing.
Comments like this make me think maybe you're not real familiar with DB'ing techniques. The LAST thing you want to do to a WAS is make demands on them. That just pushes them away.
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He doesn't feel comfortable discussing what's really on his mind and has been saying all along that he doesn't want to see a MC. I am still suggesting short term therapy.
The two of you are not ready to be under the same roof yet. He needs to be in a position where he's interested in reconciling and willing to go to MC. If he's not there, then he shouldn't be moving back in.
