Tori, you always have a post waiting for me when I NEED one. (((( ))))
The rest of yesterday involved W and I doing Christmas shopping mainly for the kids, and a little for she and I. She helped pick out a few articles of clothing as did I for her. We had a good time. Light, flirtatious (from me), and friendly. Proving we can have a good time together. W even brought up the idea of US doing more shopping together for each other.
Near the end of the evening, she ran to the store, took forever, as she ultimately stopped at BFFs house. I could see the car. She did call to let me know in case I was worried. The thing that irritated me the most is that BFF refriended OM while W at there. W asked what was wrong so I did tell her. W said the BFF asked if it would bother me if she refriended OM, and W said, "Nah." WTF? A few other irriating things unrelated to our sich, occurred and I was simply in a bad mood. W made a comment that my anger was scaring her and that she may sleep in her bed upstairs. I reassured her that I never have and never would lay a hand on her in violence. That's ridiculous and she should know better. Or is this a PTSD thing from her first husband??? Anyways, she did sleep in our bed, and she choose to cuddle with me.
Tonight is her first IC appt. Do I try and extra patch things up?
Side note, a week or so ago, W shared that her SIL, one that initially was super supportive evidently does not think we can make things work now. Do I believe her? If that is the truth, any thoughts on that? W didn't elaborate other than SIL knows all the details.
I'm confused and cycling through numerous thoughts and emotions, mainly between giving the F up and moving on and obviously hanging in there. I know time is a gift. I just need a little ranting to hopefully get rid of the chip on my shoulder. Tonglen is not working at the moment.
If anyone has any words of wisdom please feel free to share, I sure could use them as this different type of limbo is much harder (clearly).
