I used to be really awesome at doing that kind of stuff until about 2006 when I had this awful job that had me working 70+ high stress hours a week, and then when I finally got a different one, and recovered, W's dad died in 2008 and she suddenly wanted everything to herself, full control...if I did it, I did it wrong, etc...so I quit (she has even told me this herself). Then when phase 2 of mlc hit, she assumed that me even asking or doing was just to win her back, of course.
So she has opened up in this area, again, though tonight she told me she feels guilty since I work all week and such and that she doesn't get it done with her time when the kids are in school. I replied that she has a lot of other stuff to work on, and I like doing this stuff and it is an important modelling behavior for our sons...that men CAN cook, clean, do laundry, and do it well. Plus it keeps me busy, and I feel good after doing it.
Then she brought up that its one of those things she is jealous about, that I can do all this stuff well, and she feels like she has nothing because she believes she doesn't do it well, and doesn't like it much anyway...I validated her feelings and thought she does do things just fine and trusted that she would find her path.
My little truth darts were inspired by things you have been saying, HRM's little truth session with her H, and rH's with hers...and of course an intuition that there was an opening to receptivity at that moment...and its time to calmly, logically start speaking my truth, a little bit at a time at the right moment.
Funny that you should bring up Yoda...I used my awesome Yoda imitation tonight to bring some levity to the Sunday night cat herding kids to bed routine...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
