Together Separate II

[mizjjd]

I appreciate your checking in but am rather confused as to your meaning...

It really is best to remember that your job is to let him walk this. And then begin your own journey.

I don't understand, is there something I'm doing to prevent him from this walking?

Who do you want to be? What things did you always want to try?Classes you wanted to take, places you wanted to visit.

Have to say, I truly understand what you're presenting here. I get it. But its irrelevant. There is NO money for anything like that. We are teetering on the brink of financial collapse. As in, choosing between electricity and food. And if I had to do this by myself? I'd be in a shelter within months.

So, NO, this is not a gift in that way.

I also knew that I loved him. Unconditionally.

I do not know this. Not at all.

Now that didn't mean he got a free pass from his bad behavior. But it did mean that I loved him enough to let him go.

He's welcome to go. I think I'd prefer it.

IDK enough about you and your sitch. IDK if you had what so many here say they had... a great marriage that turned bad. I had a fair/poor marriage that has turned awful. Because of this, I am not eager for a return to what was. And I doubt a progression to something new and improved.

I guess you feel that I am trying to rush something? Not sure, you seem to be telling me that I'm "off" on something but IDK what exactly. I have read that if I am still conflicted about whether or not I want to continue with the marriage then its best to wait because my mind is not clear.

We are together an inordinate amount of time due to both being unemployed. Well, I now have the "gift" of a part time fast food job which will get me out of the house a few hours a week. But other than when H goes gambling, we are together. I am doing as much detaching as possible while still keeping the peace. This means I still cook for him, serve him his food, do his laundry. I talk to him as little as possible. This results in an awful lot of resentment within me, I feel I'm enabling/allowing cake-eating and I can't figure out what to do about that. Because if I take a stand, then I'll be back to "rushing" the sitch.

Thanks again for your time with my sitch.