Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[adinva]

I'm so glad you're making it a warm and decorated holiday for your girls. Just like the who's in whoville, the joy of Christmas can transcend what's happening in our lives. You are of course sad that your H is doing what he's doing, but you aren't letting that stop Christmas from coming. And next year with your baby boy it will be even better no matter what.

Find a mantra that helps you keep the focus off H. Try really hard to just take what he does at face value, and a nice text from him to the girls is a good thing. A tiny miserable little good thing, but a good thing.

In what I'm going through now, negotiating a separation agreement, I have to keep reminding myself that even if it's just for strategic purpose, I want H's goodwill and don't want to aggravate him. If that might apply to your case, I'd suggest that you might need to be a little more proactive in looking out for H's interest with regard to the girls. They are really angry with him, and it's awful but it may be necessary for you to be proactive in helping them build and maintain a relationship with him.

Although it would be nice to slam the door in his face and let the girls hate him when he's being such a disappointment, the end result is that they grow up feeling abandoned by their dad. He may need your assistance in helping keep the best possible relationship with them that he's capable of. It's awful for you but best for them if a good relationship is possible at some point.