Wife lost in the MLC-We are now separated

[sam4nh]

Yesterday my W and I had our session with the mediator. I think I see a new side to the selfishness that I have never experienced. My W was completely concerned about the money she is making from the sale of some of her stocks and a bonus. At one point she became extremely adamant about the stocks that she would receive in March next year. She said at one point that if she had to split the stock 50/50 with me that she would in fact consider a divorce. She does not think that splitting her bonus/stocks is fair since we are separated (her decision). The state we live in has a 50/50 split of assets and she is extremely upset about the way the state splits assets. I agreed that we could split it 60/40 instead. The mediator said that even if we filed for divorce today, that the backlog for getting it through court would still make her split the assets and he was not sure what the judge would award.

The other interesting thing she said was that if she wanted to date while we are separated that she does not feel that she needs to tell me that she’s dating. Only if it got to the point that she is intimate with someone. I find this statement totally contradictory to her reaction the other night after she accused me of “dating” after I posted a profile on match.com.

As we were leaving my W was asking if I would still watch her dog when she went on her next business trip and if I would still let her come over and visit the other dogs. I said I would watch the dog, but I needed to think about her coming to the house daily to see the other dogs/cats.

I also said that I had never seen her act like this and was completely startled about how she was acting about the money. She said that she earned the money and it should be hers even if we were separated. She then went on to say that she would give it all up??? She did not provide any explaination as to why. She just kept saying that the money was hers, she earned it and it should be hers and I was being unfair asking for it. Which by the way I did not ask for the state says I’m entitled to it since we are married. We left it at that.

Today she calls and apologizes for the way she thought she had acted during the session. We talked a little and she said we had not really talked about our relationship a lot since we separated. I said that was her choice since she wanted to work on her issues. I said that us having a discussion usually escalated to you said/I said and we never really accomplished much and the only way I could see around that would be to get MC together. I know…I know I'm not supposed to do that, but I felt this was what she was pushing for with our conversation. She said she was going to IC to discuss everything and she was still 99% sure she wants a divorce. I said I can’t make the decision for her. The funny thing is that I almost feel at peace if she decides to leave, since I've been in such a turnmoil. I think my heart will be at ease.

I did say at the end of our conversation and I truly mean it that I hope she finds peace in her heart, joy and true happiness. With her being in a MLC I’m not sure she can find any of these right now.