Sorry, one other question in regard to communication - my D and I are still living in our family home, he's still paying half the bills and we did have the house up for sale but he agreed to take it off the market. This was my ask because I do not want to tranfer my D to another school while this is going on, too much change at once. And of course, I hope he comes back to his home.
So whenever H and I are discussing anything to do with the house, I always say "our". Our bedroom, our bathroom, our home, etc. And when his "current home" (with the OW) is brought up I simply say "where you are living". I refuse to call it his "home".
But I'm wondering if this is wrong? Should I be now be saying "my home, my bathroom, etc" ? I just wonder if he starts to hear me say "my" instead of "our" if it would trigger anything in his brain. What do you think? One thing I did do was remove his name from the answering machine (well its just an auto reply now whereas before it had all 3 of our names)
And I decided to take some stress leave from work, kinda regroup. My plan is to rearrange "my" bedroom to remove his dresser and have more space for "me" (I now have 2 closets!) And I'm moving the spare bed that he was sleeping in to my D's room to give her a bigger bed. Has anyone done this? I also wonder if it would trigger anything (plus I think it will be helpful for D to see some positive changes and our therapist agreed)
