May I ask you something? Do you thank him when he does things that you ask of him? Do you give him compliments when he does something right or the way he dresses? If the answer is no, maybe you could try doing some of "thank yous", etc. It would be a 180 for you. Start out simple and go from there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.