Trying to figure out the 180 on giving my H space. Before all the crap hit the fan and he had the affair, he still did his own thing alot but wanted intimacy with me and more than I did. I could have been better about it but many times when I felt he didnt treat me right I carried a grudge and didn't want to be close.I would see him treating others the way I felt he should treat me. I would walk around angry or with a hangdog look and it sure didn't work.
Last week H was affectionate because he was worried about his health (He said he turns to me because I don't get worried about that like he does and I help him to calm down)that was fine but then to be annoyed over trivial things later when we were hanging out was not loving and I was able to state that calmly. Since I said that I had kept my distance but was pleasant but he gave no affectionate overtures. So I thought maybe he thinks I'm ticked. So my 180 was to just hug him in bed and then he was affectionate and amourous. Maybe he is waiting for my lead sometimes because he's thinking I'm doing the same old behavior. He has never been very affectionate in our marriage like hugging and kissing when he comes home. I really would like that to change. Sometimes when I ask him to do something like take out a garbage bag or put away something he waits and does not do it for awhile or not at all. And if I remind him he just gets bugged and more stubborn. We sure have a long way to go.
