Husband left in September. I need HELP

[mamabird]

I would advise you to keep going to MC or IC, just so you can get a handle on what YOU did in the R. Your H is not going to live in that apt forever, and it doesn't sound like he's going to just walk out for good either, but he does need some space right now, so for your M's sake, give it to him.

What about your kids? Does he see them? I'd be a little concerned if he's just disappeared, no contact, and hasn't wanted to see your kids. Do you see H at work?

I suppose you've read DB or DR since you've been on the board for a long time - now would be the time to re-read and refresh. You've got to give this some time. In my own sitch, which is far from over, I spent the first 3 months fighting bitterly with my H. We went to MC during that time and it was a disaster because, like you, we spent the time just yelling at each other. It took us another 2 months to get to the point where we could really start MC with any effectiveness. I am going on month 6 now, and even though I am in my own home, my H is still very hesitant.

I suspect that your H just wants to be heard by you at this point. Give him time and space and just listen when he comes around. Try to put your anger aside so you can be available.