I've been thinking about your h and it could very well be that he was snatched back to reality 14 years ago and this one is actually the "continuation" of that one. He's got to finish this one up and he's going to be a lost soul for a very long time.

I think what you are feeling, i.e., coldness, hardness, etc., is the fact that this is a "repeat" of some of the behaviors and let's face it, you are tired of the same old rinse and repeat behavior. You are tired of being the strong and rational adult in your family. It's understandable. You've detached quite a bit and you aren't reacting to his behavior as much.

As for Bubba, let that one rest for a bit. The holidays are coming and you don't want to put an additional "damper" on them. I do think that the answers will come, but hopefully in January and not now.

Is he good as a gambler? The dream may come to an end of there is no money for him to gamble with. I hope he doesn't get in the habit of borrowing and then can't repay the loans. I guess I watch too many police shows...

I do hope that you have a good day. Be kind to yourself.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.