I read your sitch the other day, but agreed with AS posts and didn't respond individually. I'm circling back, but didnt reread, so I apologize if my questions have already been answered?
What are/were your W's issues with the M?
What have you done to address those issues?
What childhood issues does your W have?
What have you both done to heal from the A and rebuild trust? This is a two way street.
No offense, but you seemed to have flip flopped a few times which I'm sure is confusing to your W. Do you know where you stand now? If you really want to heal it, then you have to stop pushing her away when you are hurt (I'm assuming that's what you've been doing).
From the little bit here, I think you are focusing a lot on W and not much on you. The only thing you can control is you, so that really should be your focus. Have you truly forgiven her? What are the things you think you have done that are destructive to the M? How do you want to change?
The issue you mention about your W not wanting to deal with childhood issues....that is a difficult thing. You can't force it. You can only be supportive. Are you pushing too hard? Are you blaming those issues for your own short comings?
