labug, I have to admit. I struggle with saying what I want. I try to be nice. I have recognized this. And when I get upset I do a classic avoid, ignore thing instead of talk.
I think it stems from a lot of insecurity from my younger years. Deep down I think people will get mad at me I suppose and then not want to be around me. I guess thats why i have trouble with boundaries. Ok..now I am crying. I didn't realize how much you hit home with your comment! lol (thats lol with tears...so I look crazy right now).
For me telling H I was uncomfortable was hard for me. Just that step was hard. Wow. I really have had very little respect for myself over the years I guess.
Thank you busting for sharing (along with the others that have chimed in with similar issues). This sings to me as I believe my W is the same. It's actually an issue with us to a degree because I feel like W is willing to tell me and the family no, but not anyone else.
We also had a discussion on forgiveness recently where I asked W if she thought she forgave. She said yes, but then I asked, why do you think you did. She basically said she forgave them because she was afraid they'd be mad at her if she didn't. I argued that this wasn't really forgiveness and oh hell, did the S hit the fan! She got extremely upset with me about it. I suspect because I hit the nail on the head, but these type discussions here really help me understand her better.
