Whoa...this is exactly where I'm at. Daily, things are great, we hang out, ML, do things as a family. Everything is great....except that court date in Jan. And every time R comes up, it's generally her saying she still wants D.
I think the problem is she made a decision and is sticking with it. She refuses to forgive, refuses to take a chance, to become vunerable, so it keeps her from committing to the M.
So this means you need to buy some more time to give her a chance to change her mind. ANYTHING that can move the date(s) or stall the process and give you more time is good. Are there any practical reasons you can come up with to hold up on the D process?
My wife said she was "done" but came up with her own reasons to wait to D.
"Maybe after Belle dies" (our 14 year old dog, who I now have on an exercise program and heatlh food diet!)
"Maybe after my busy period at work" (this milestone has already been passed two months ago, still no move on her part)
"Maybe after the loan is paid off" One year to go. (ok, this one was mine, but I knew it would make sense to her.)
Others have been known to use kid issues as reasons to hold off on D. (when school is out, kid graduates, etc)
The fact that you get along good is great! You offer comfort and security that she may find hard to give up when it comes down to it.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
