The one thing I decided was that I'm not going to allow ML if I can't sleep in my own bed. I think that's a pretty fair trade off. H does well on a once a week schedule, but can go without for a fairly long while... unfortunately I have never been able to use sex for leverage with him. So I'm not sure it will work this time either, but my IC advised it to phrase it such as "I'm not comfortable with ML and then having to go sleep in the other room."
I'm in total agreement on this. I think it's long overdue that you moved back into the MBR as it is. If you decide to ML, and he wants separation, he can drag his @ss to the other room afterwards!
And I wouldn't think of think of this of using ML as leverage, I'd think of it more as a boundary. Your feelings matter. So while you may be willing to ML, as part of that deal, you shouldn't feel punished afterwards....you should feel accepted, and loved.
