MLC w/Depression...withdrawing!

[albamarie]

Today h came home at 7a as usual from work and slept in the car. After about noon he came into the door way to leave festival tickets on the hall table for D18.

I step outside to find him going back to his SUV saying he's heading out, he can't come in today, he won't shower, eat, charge his phone, nothing can make him want to trap himself in our home.

I was shivering so I got in the SUV where he turned the heat on for me saying he has to go through this, he has to wonder to settle his mind or go crazy. I said your making choices that you know better, he agrees saying but he "needs" to complete his journey.

He made sure we were all ok! I have always been the financier so he knows that's not an issue, but he wanted to know how much more he could work to give S21 money for his car. I said he won't take from you, he's hurt, he was never a momma's boy, he's your one son that was born a little man hanging with his dad from day one.

H said he had been thinking about that lately figuring S21 has me, a F who's not really gone, just wackadoodle, and a secure home. He's fine! I said your putting a blanket "were fine" over us so you can proceed without guilt and full justification. He said, I'll except that, yes, I have to!

H then looked at me, head cocked, eyes true, saying what do you want from me? I said, I'm just waiting for you to figure out what you already know! At that moment I knew let him go, drive away on this fluke of a warm day, cause if I don't he'll never heal, and if I do maybe one day he'll come back to me, or at least to himself!

It felt good to be strong for the both of us, I did go on to have a fine day, just a little sad, but secure at home.