Separation at 17.5 months

[Sweetbriar]

Ad,

I have been reading your post and Im so sorry that this is happening to you. I am just recently separated from my H. I did not want to go through with it, but I had to due to money issues that I needed to be set in stone.

I wanted to tell you though, that telling friends and family turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I spent a lot of time thinking that I was doing something wrong and that people would judge me and think that I wasnt good enough and that is why my husband had to leave me..but honestly, I have gotten SOOOO much love and support from freinds and family...even H's friends that he ditched have been so concerned and caring. It was the best thing I did for my self esteem and my coping. Its nice to have someone to discuss it with!

Also, as far as telling the kids...Im sure they already know that something is going on. THey are far more knowledgeable than we think! Telling my girls was awful, but I felt better once they knew. They were sad and still are sad and ask lots of questions as to their dads behavior...but I just feel like its better now that its in the open around the house. I took the same approach that you are planning on taking and told them that they would not have to move, and that we both love them very much, etc...

Good luck with that and with the final separation. We went to court in Nov for the final sep and I already got an email today from my lawyer saying that she is planning on setting the trial date for the summer (that will be one year since we really stopped living together) and it made me sad. I advised her that Im not pushing the divorce..and that H can do that part.

By the way..Im in VA..where in VA are you?

SB