I couldn't help but notice quite a few similarities in our life situation. Similar ages..me 46, H 49. A D 17 about to head off to university, and a younger child, D10. Also M22, together 25. So timeframes all very similar. The mind just spins doesn't it wondering how they can just turn their back on all those years.
Wow, yes there certainly a lot of similarities! Maybe you and I should have gotten married and our spouses should have married each other, then we'd all be happy because you and I would be happily married and our spouses would be walking away from each other, LOL!
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I have thought some more about H's "kept house too tidy" complaint. Sure on its own its just ridiculous but thinking it through...perhaps he was really complaining about inflexibility and priorities. I admit having the house nice is important to me and I do have my own ways I like stuff done. I know he has had difficulty articulating what he's actually thinking so I try to think beyond the actual words to the motivation and thought process and so take on board what he's really trying to say.
That's a good point, there may have been something valid in his complaint although on the face of it it sounded a little ridiculous. But even if it was a crazy comment it's important to validate his concerns whether you believe them or not- tell him you understand why he feels that way. That's been a big 180 for me because whenever my wife ever raised an issue my reaction was to try and explain it away, but after learning about DB'ing I've been pretty good about stopping that and just validating her instead and also taking her seriously and figuring out what I can do to change myself per her concerns.
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BTW New 180... Cut my hair off!! Gone from long, dark blonde to short brunette!! Love it!! Lots of compliments all round. Very happy.
That's fantastic! Just the kind of thing to keep your H guessing what you're up to
