I'm so sorry that the memories hit you hard while decorating. I know how you feel and I can understand your way of thinking about getting new ornaments.

Allow the happy memories to surround you like a warm blanket and know that those memories were real and happy ones.

I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.