Boy can I relate! This continued for me for a long, long time. The first time I saw him and her together just about killed me. Then we were all at a funeral home together with OW mocking me (imagine). I held my head up, said nothing, went home then CRIED for hours. And that was a couple of years after the split.
It takes time A LOT of time to get through this. But not responding IS the right thing to do. It helps you continue to detach.
It has been 11 years for me. We're at the point of minor texts regarding our son about once a month. Still bugs me to respond to him. He asked me to phone him in the summer - I'd have rather chewed worms. But I did it.
Just keep on doing what you are doing and don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human after all.
