Unfortunately not all the links are active because some of the threads are quite old, but there's enough active links in there to keep you reading for quite a while. There are some newer success stories in the piecing forum that aren't included in the above, so look there too.
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I didn't validate her much, if any. I also have been keeping my distance and not talking to her that much, for a long time. How do I address those things while still staying my distance and not sounding like I am pursuing her?
Read the book I mentioned earlier (5LL), it gives a lot of great advice for many different ways you can validate and show love without actually saying ILY. One example from my sitch is my W comes over to my house and gets the kids ready for school every day which allows me to leave for work earlier. The tradeoff is I pick them up every day even on her weeks, but still, I've told her "I really appreciate you coming over and getting the kids ready, I know it's a lot of work and it's really great of you to do this." That's speaking "words of affirmation", one of the LL. And it's doing it in a non-pursuing manner. That's the sort of thing you can do.