I think you got some good information. Read your post several times and really take in what she said.

I have problems with impatience also. Living with the unknown is difficult but it's an illusion that we ever really know what is in store for us day to day. For me that caused anxiety and I would control in an attempt to calm that feeling.

Except for the thoughts on reconciliation I got much the same when H and I had our last R talk.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss