Her biggest complaint in our marriage is my arguing. I am hypercritical by nature and usually feel that I have to argue and win every conversation. I know this is a problem I have, and I am trying to work on it.
I was also the type that had to win every argument. I also could never bring myself to say I was sorry. There's a saying around here that is burned into my mind now- do you want to be right or do you want to be happily married? We can't be both. Trying to be "right" all the time just drives our spouses away.
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My wife also complains that I do no validate her, say she's pretty often enough or lift up her spirits, which is true to a point.
Don't think of it as true "to a point", because to her it is a huge issue or she wouldn't have brought it up to you. Also don't think of it as her "complaining". She is trying to tell you something. Are you hearing it? What are you doing about it? Read the 5 Love Languages, it teaches a lot about validation.
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She has been extremely loyal to me throughout our relationship and she is a fantastic mother.
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I feel she goes off too often for a wife and a mother.
Read the two statements above. Ask yourself which is true. If she is "extremely loyal" to you and a "fantastic mother", then does she not deserve to go to a concert with friends and enjoy herself? And should you not support her in that rather than try to bring her down and shame her over it?
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On my end, sex is literally off the table. The last time was 6 months ago.
Huge red flag. People want and need sex, if they don't get it in their marriage they'll get it somewhere else.
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The decrease in our sex life started shortly after my daughter turned 1. My wife always seemed not into it. My daughter started sleeping in our bed about that time.
We made the same mistake with our S. Every counselor in the world will tell you that's a major mistake, it destroys your sex life and creates a rift in the marriage. It's not good for the child either.
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What she hopes for during this separation is to find herself. She has told me that she doesn't know if we will be together at the end, or if we will never be together again. She just claims not to know.
It's not a "claim", she really doesn't know. WAS's typically are very confused about what they want and where things are going in the future. They need time and space to sort their thoughts out.
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She also says she doesn't love me right now, but will always care deeply for me.....From reading on these forums, that part sounds like bullsh1t.
It's not BS, she absolutely does feel that way. She loves you (in the friend sense) but is not in love with you (in the romantic/ emotional sense).
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I just don't know how to handle it.
Read DR again and again. Read other threads on these forums, there are many sitches like yours in various stages. Detach, GAL, give your W time and space. Settle in for a long haul, it'll take many months to begin to see progress.
