Your situation is frightening like my own - right down the 8 years between our spouses.
I have suffered from being critical of everything in my life - my wife, brother, clients, kids - Everything!
A friend told me that when I criticize my wife (or anyone) I are making her wrong. And why would I want to be married to someone who is always wrong?
He told me, "Stop being critical and start being curious." Listen and absorb, try to understand what is actually happening.
I know as the boss in my business, I feel scared if I don't know the right answer. That makes me defensive. So it is much easier to be critical and cutting than open and accepting. Sadly, this behaviour didn't stay at work and I acted this way to my wife.
Just realizing what I was doing and approaching the world with a curious eye has made a tremendous difference in my life. Hasn't brought my wife and I back together, yet. But it has only been 3 months.
