About a week and a half ago, I received a call from xw's car insurance company. They said it was in regards to a claim. I asked if it was in regards to my car as I was in a car accident last July (and everything we owned together got all messed up in the D) .. but he couldn't give me the info. So I just gave him her number.
Two days ago - I get a call from Enterprise about xw needing a rent-a-car. Again I give her cell number.
I'm not frustrated by my actions, I'm frustrated by my lack of detachment. I'm sure she's fine.. but I had any kind of detachment, I could email her letting her know that my cell was being used as her primary contact and to see if she was ok.
But I would be hurt by my expectations.. so I say nothing. Once again I do nothing.
I just wish I could do loving actions to her because of who I AM vs. who I wish SHE WERE. I don't know if that makes any sense.
I just wish I was healthier. I don't know how to push myself any faster.. I think at this point, it will just happen within its own time.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
