Escape from Hades

[trainthruhell]

It's pretty weird, this trip thru Hell. My W wanted to have the "Discussion" the other day about splitting up the Assets to get ready for the Mediator. We sat down and I tried a 180 on her. I told her I didn't believe anything she said and only wanted to know how we (the family) could give her the space and distance she needed without being so reckless. I kept repeating that. Kept bring up the kids and how they are suffering and will suffer all their lives because of this. I wasn't angry or nasty, only calm, when I explained things to her. I believe she was taken aback for a while. We talked for 5 1/2 hours, (actually she did most of it.) I sat there and listened. She never brought up the Mediator or Assets again.

We talked about her mostly, job, minor stuff... and sometimes rolled around the to the relationship. She said "I don't love you anymore", "I am not attracted to you anymore". I was thinking this is from the same women who in August said how much she loved me over and over, then in September tells me that she "loves me but is not in love with me", and now "I don't love you anymore." Well babe, which is it, make up your mind. I didn't say those things, just thoughts.

She said this was all caused because I have a "Communication Issue". We've been married 24 years; think she would have mentioned this before. I know the saying "Don't believe anything she tells you and only 50% of what she does" This is absolutely not about me.

She mentioned why I wanted to stay together, I told her two things:

1. When things get tough and hard, you don't just quit!
2. To set an example for our children, commitment is a commitment, a promise is a promise, when life is tough, Don't Quit.

This through her back, she didn't say anything for a while after that. I also mentioned her father that passed about three years ago. She said she talks to him and he talks back. I told her that her Dad would have never quit as well. That took her back too. We ended it because I believe we where too tired to talk after a while, it was after all, about 2:00 in the morning.

My W doesn't exactly fit the profile (who does?). She wants to talk, and wants me to talk as well. She said that "if you want to drive me away farther, then remain silent". So we talk. We'll see. I am still in fuzzyland but at least I can function and be in control.