Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[someguy1233]

Last night I had a monthly meeting after work. I'm usually home by 8:30 at the latest. I decided to stop by my parents house after the meeting to visit for a few minutes. I debated not telling W I would be late, but then realized that would be very hypocritical. So I sent her a message-
Me: I'll be home in a bit. Making a pit stop.
W: Like at a bar?
Me: I wish!!!
W: Oooookkkaaayyy

The strung out "ok" is her way of expressing frustration. She was sleeping when I got home. This morning on the way to work we had a brief chat about it-
W: So did you have fun on your cryptic outing last night?
Me: What do you mean cryptic?
W: You know what I mean. It’s like you’re intentionally vague lately. If I did that to you you’d be pissed.
Me: Interesting. I wasn’t being intentionally anything.
W: Well what were you out doing?
Me: I stopped by my parents’ house.
W: Oh.

A little later I told her I had plans tonight (GAL!)-
Me: I’m going to go out after S goes to bed tonight.
W: Oh really. How about you ask, “Do you have anything going on tonight? I’m thinking about going out?”
Me: Ok… “So I’m thinking about going out tonight… do you have anything going on?”
W: Nope. That’s fine.

She doesn't seem to like me breaking way from my predictable behaviors, or perhaps it's just the way I'm communicating the plans?

Probably a little of both. When she goes out for her happy hours, does she notify you by saying, "I'm thinking of going out for happy hour tonight, do you have anything going on?"???

Does she think that her plans take precedence over your plans?

That's what it sounds like.

Does she ask you for permission to go out?

Maybe you can phrase it like this, "I'm going to go out tonight after S goes to bed, unless WE have something going on?"

Sometimes when she goes out she asks if it will be ok. Other timers, she just says, "I'm going to happy hour after work."

Denver, I like your statement. I'll try to use that. It states that I plan to go out, but shows consideration for her as well.