heeeeelllllppp!!

[MrBond]

"I swear I am having a nervous breakdown today for some reason. oH yeah...she's messing with someone else. ."

Now you know how she felt.

"Should I go ask her for it or should I just let it be for a while. I want to tell her it's for something important to our marriage but she might quiz me."

No! don't ask. In fact, don't say anything about saving your M. You've already told her time and time again. Give her space.

"I was also thinking of getting her a little love locket to remind her of the good times."

See this is why everyone tells you to read DB. You don't buy your W things when you're DBing.

"I really need to clarify my almost affair. It was mostly innocent. I did get carried away with the letter and the poem, but again they weren't given to my woman friend. it was to get those feelings out and not let them grow inside of me. My councilor at the time suggested this."

Stop blaming other people for your actions. He might have suggested it, but you did it. And it got your in trouble. AGAIN, you had an EA! To her that hurt and you betrayed your thoughts and feelings to her.

"My only mistake was not burning them once they were out."

No your mistake was letting your feelings for this other person get too far.

"I think my wife should forgive me on this point though because it could have been worse."

Why? You haven't earned her respect and trust. It's pretty obvious from your current actions.

"But I have owned up to that mistake and have begged for her to forgive."

So what? You might have said the words, but it is up to your W to forgive you. Just because you begged her to forgive you doesn't mean she should.

"Not snooping on the computer is so hard. You guys have no idea."

Seriously? You think you're the only one who had to deal with an A? My W had an EA with her boss that she worked with every day. So, yeah, we do have an idea.

"I just want to go through every email and find the secret accounts she has. I just want this to end."

And what do you think is going to happen? Do you think she'll fall into your arms because you're such a catch? No way. She'll look for the next guy in line UNLESS YOU CHANGE.

"I suggested in the email that we take a 3 month break from sex to get our heads on straite."

You are in no position to lay down any rules like that. Just stop asking her for sex. PERIOD.

"The one website suggest that for a man to take back his sexuality he do this periodically in his marriage."

That's in a good marriage. You're in a lousy one so that rule doesn't apply. Just stop asking her for stuff she doesn't want to give you.

"It's not that i don't understand the principles of db, it's just that i'm confused by what is DB and what isn't."

yes you are or else you wouldn't be making all of these simple mistakes. They are listed specifically in the book.

"I read like 6 books on marriage and get confused as to what applies to what.That's why I needed help in the first place."

We all do. But you have to learn what the overall meaning is to each thing you read. Let's face it, everything you've done so far hasn't worked. So stick with DB.

"So far, I got that I shouldn't confront my wife or buddy about their affair. Check
I shouldn't call my wife names. check
I shouldn't snoop on her or check her clothes. check."

It's called respecting your W. check.
When you were trying to court her, were you that mean and needy to her?

"I do love her but she is human at times. She can be moody and can be a B. I don't think she's a B 100% of the time, but aren't we all a little grumpy. I mean she's called me a ahole a lot of times. I'm not allowed to think she's a B???"

Because she calls you an ahole it's for a REASON! That's what you don't get. But rather than trying to figure out and understand why she called you that, you return fire by calling her a B. Do you REALLY think that is going to solve anything? Start by being the better man.

"I promise I will learn once I get the book."

No you can start now by respecting your W and stop thinking about yourself. I don't think you really understand how selfish you sound.

"Do you think it's too early to suggest marriage counseling or a marriage retreat?"

YES! OMG, go back and read everyone's posts to you. WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO GO BACK TO YOU WHEN YOU'RE STILL TREATING HER LIKE AN @$$?!

I understand that you might think I'm getting on your case alot, but it seems like you don't respond any other way.