Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[Accuray]

I would spend no time thinking about it -- it's a very common thing for a person having an affair to ask. Why do they ask?

(1) if you start seeing someone else they can feel less guilty because you are doing it too
(2) if you start seeing someone else it might mean they can't have you back when they want you and may trigger some jealousy and fear

(1) has the potential to push them farther away, (2) has the potential to draw them back to you. Unfortunately, you don't know which direction they are going to take, and it may be both at the same time. That's why it's not worth worrying about, it doesn't lead anywhere.

You have no control over his guilt -- you can't make him feel more or less guilty, that's up to him. Even if you told him that everything he has done is completely okay with you, he may still feel guilty, because you can't control that. If you did everything you could do to make him feel terribly guilty, he still may not feel any guilt at all and just feel like a victim.

You should let him think what he wants. It is to your advantage if he wonders what you are up to. Don't tell him. Mystery is good. Just live your life, take care of your baby, pursue good times during the holidays, and surrender to the fact that he will do and think what he wants.

Accuray