She does like sex and we were doing it, but is not that much of a ‘cuddler’. She never complained about the frequency, but the intimacy outside the BR she says was missing.
Right, that's exactly what I meant. Women need constant nurturing outside of the bedroom while men are content with a roll in the hay every few days. Have you read the 5 Love Languages? Great book for understanding this better.
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I don’t want to show he the book, but rather the 2 day intensive with Michelle. I don’t think I can convince her.
Oh, I understand now. Yeah, it sounds like you're in a tough spot right now. Maybe reevaluate that in a couple of months. Your job right now is to act "as if" everything is fine (even with the D proceeding) and not react to your W's storming. Picture a lighthouse, you're the solid lighthouse built on rock shining a beacon of hope and warmth while your wife is the raging sea smashing against the rocks. She can rage and flail about, but you remain rock solid and stable. Just picture that when she's going postal on you. Don't react to her, just be solid, confident and content, and exude PMA.
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We are in Canada (Toronto area) and here, you need Separation for 1 year before filing for divorce
That is FANTASTIC for you. Some states here in the US have gone to that, but many others have much shorter terms. The reason so many jurisdictions have gone to the 1 year wait is because it's been proven in studies that most marital issues resolve themselves in less than a year even if neither partner does a thing to fix it!! It really is true about time healing wounds. So just settle in, try to get through the S proceedings as peacefully as possible, stick to your DB'ing and give your W time and space.
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My lawyer is big on reconciliation, hers is not. He wants to take a run at her and give her the ‘real’ facts about D and what we are getting into. almost a scared straight tactic.
Doubtful it'll have any impact on her, but if it's coming from your L and not you then I don't think it'll hurt your sitch either.
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Are your two staring to work it out? Is there a possibility with you two? Were you this far down the path legally etc?
No piecing here yet. The only discovery is that W is still confused about what to do. She's expressed confusion ever since BD. She thought moving out would bring clarity and it didn't. She's not at all happy. But she's not to the point of wanting to reconcile. That could be months away (or never). I just have to keep giving her space. I just hope that if she decides to reconcile I haven't moved on to another R. That's my biggest concern- she'll decide to come back after I'm done.
