MLC, affair, internet pictures, we're a mess

[cantslowdown]

I should say that the 180s I am not just trying (but instilling in myself here as part of my core values) are open communication (both initiating and ending a conversation that is not superficial), apologizing where it warrants it, NOT raising my voice, but being quiet and letting the other person speak (helps in all areas of my life), and also trying to recognize my own boundaries and calmly stating when they have been crossed.

Like her continued contact with him. I said I wish her success in her job, but I do not approve that he is a part of it (and all their friendship time that I KNOW happens outside of the working). I will support her in improving herself, but I won't approve of contact with him because I know it is wrong, even though I can't MAKE her stop.

In the past I have likened it to me keeping around a girly magazine (or going back to the girly magazine site) because the articles are so well written. I know I can't do that because it is wrong and it hurt her deeper than I may ever know. But she is just so disconnected from me she beleives she can carry on and I just have to suck it up without a word (like a nice guy might). I have boundaries and the rest of my life to live. I can only learn from the ways i have screwed up, not relive them over and over.