Welcome to catch-22

[Big Bruce]

Good evening Mister Bond,

I get that you use humor to hide any insecurities you may be feeling but you're coming across as not truly listening.

True, it is one of my anti-qualities. Not listening. But I'm working on it, it's tough.

From your background, I understand how you want someone to tell you the secret formula to saving your M and how to be a good H. No one can do that. No one can teach you compassion or empathy. You have to learn it yourself.

I understand. Listening and having empathy go hand in hand... I have lotsa work...

As for your W, you think that being nice, complimenting, etc. is what you need to do. It just comes off as fake and unreal. Treat her the way she should have been treated. Do not go over the top.

I get your point. When one is desperate, maybe one swings the pendulum too far. I will pay attention to being more "normal" around her. Same things with gifts, I stopped overkilling because it was getting too much.

Go back and replay those little comments she would make about your bad habits. See it from her point of view. If you can honestly see that, then you might be able to save your family.

Honestly, I don't remember precisely what all her bad humour and sulk was all about all the time. I only remember reproaches over reproaches, and my feeling relieved when she finally went to bad or left me alone (no pun intended), because I wasn't paying attention, as I should have.

Thank you, your insight is really sharp and to the point. At least it gives me changes to work on, and albeit no mathematical formula to save my M, at least food for thought and behaviour changing tips.

Bonsoir,
B.