H and I spent last night emailing about our finances. Don't know where he is...in country...out?? Even if he is in country, he would never call on the phone. What is it with him not wanting to use the phone to communicate with me and Ds? It's always just emails mostly, sometimes texts. Maybe because he has to respond immediately on the phone. Emails he can take his time or not respond at all.
H has always been extremely intelligent. But, last night I was going over and over basic math with him. It didn't matter how I told him what the girls and needed out of the budget, he just didn't get it. He "talked" to me like I was a third grader. He has evidently opened an account at a totally different bank. He transferred enough money for our mortgage at the first of December. Nothing more. I told him I hadn't bought groceries or paid for some activity fees for YD. I asked him, why after 22 years of marriage do I have to explain the money I need to take care of myself and Ds. He was condescending to me a couple times.
When he did get condescending, I called him on it and told him to not treat me like a child. He also wanted to know about my checking account that he has no access to. He wants to know the amount in the account. HA! Like I would give up that info. He asked three times. Then after he knew I was getting frustrated, he made the comment, "I'm not trying to be difficult. I'm just trying to understand the numbers you're giving me. This is not meant to be sarcastic, I'm simply trying to explain what I'm asking. I'm not prying or questioning." What?!? He only asked the same questions over and over. I gave him the answers over and over.
I finally told him I didn't know how I could explain the numbers any differently so he would understand. We went back and forth a little bit more. He was talking down to me saying I was arguing and being hostile. I say I'm not arguing, just trying explain so he would understand. I told him not to tell me I'm being difficult just because I was pointing out the truth about the money.
He evidently thinks I have more money. I said I have one job and my paycheck is directly deposited in the joint account. (That changes in Dec) About that time, he said he was done discussing it with me because of MY attitude. My response..".the girls and I have to eat, I have Christmas to pay for and YD fees due next week. You told me and the girls that the money wouldn't just stop for us. That promise wasn't kept either. I guess I'll be making other financial arrangements to take care of the girls and pay for Christmas".
That was the way our convo ended. Oh, I did try to call him about half way thru the whole ordeal. Emailing about it is ridiculous. Anyway, I called, he wouldn't answer the phone! Why was I surprised? I left a calm and semi polite message. I called him out on his responsibilities. No more communication from him.
This morning I woke up to an email with him telling me to take part of my paycheck money that gets deposited on the 30th. Then said, "we'll get the budget worked out." I don't think he liked my "other arrangement" statement and that I told him he was not giving up the money to feed the girls.
