Some progress after 2+ months of DBing

[mamabird]

This morning H mentioned that he was giving a presentation at a school in Woodstock today. I said, "I know Woodstock" (it's a town that's v close to where I did my graduate studies). H said in an annoyed voice, "I know where Woodstock is too, thank you v much". I was really taken aback by how aggressive he sounded and asked what was wrong with me knowing it. He said "nothing". He is weird sometimes. Does anyone understand what might have been going on in his mind?

You went to graduate school, and he got kicked out of uni for drugs, correct? There you go. He knows you went to graduate school near there and it probably touched a nerve. He hates knowing that you're more accomplished than he is (school wise anyway). BTW, I have a graduate degree in business and my H doesn't have anything past college. He does very well in his job and he makes sure to lord that over me (esp when I was struggling, like somehow my sh!tty boss was my fault).

here was another thing that H did that perplexed me. H was obviously looking for something and went into each of our three coal vaults. He is useless at finding things generally but he didn't ask me to help. I wasn't sure whether to offer my help. I took a guess and asked if he was looking for a bag that was in our laundry room and he said, "Thanks, no". I left it at that.

Sounds familiar. I bet he had a very curt and annoyed tone too. He probably feels bad about not being able to find whatever he is looking for and knows you could probably help... so he feels bad about himself again and takes it out on you.

He was close enough for me to kiss on the lips and I just said, "Much more kissable". It was very brief but we haven't even had a kiss on the lips for a while. He didn't recoil or anything.

That sounds like good DB to me! I'm sure he's tempted but a little embarrassed because it's been so long.

I said that I didn't think that he was the cause of me being on ADs. He probably thinks that he's on them because of living with me!

I am sure my H thinks that I'm the reason he's on ADs too.

I woke up feeling sad that we never touch and that I seem so unimportant in his life.

This I am very sorry to hear, but I completely get it. I have felt that way so many times, and unfortunately I did the wrong things to get out of that feeling. But those are the feelings that drove me to these other men: sadness, feeling unimportant, feeling rejected. It is awful to feel that way in your M. By the way, I don't think you are unimportant in his life. I think that you have become so distant from each other that putting it back together seems like an insurmountable challenge to him. Plus, you have your act together and he probably fears you don't want him at this point. Easier just to be distant, even though that creates a vicious cycle.