Thanks Snodderly H yelled and yelled about not finding a remote changer the day before thanksgiving, and banged on the kids doors to interrogate them. I usually get up and try to frantically find whatever he's yelling about. This time I did not. Later I found it on the couch where it was under an envelope. I was mad and said I would not go to his moms but after consulting with my counselor he said I should give him a pass and let him know I am giving him a pass. So I did but he gave no apology for terrible tantrum he had. Then on Thanksgiving H was worried about his health (eyes bugging him) and I hugged him practically all night because he wanted to and I feel I need affection. But 2 nights later he was irritated by little things I say. I told him "remember thursday when I comforted you?" yes he did. I said that was loving but it's not loving when you are irritated at me for just being me. Then I dropped it and he said nothing.
This week I have been pleasant but I have not hugged or kissed him. I went through depression yesterday and some today. I feel like I am never going to have the respect and love I want from him. But I figure I will hang in there for awhile longer and keep praying. thanks for the link to the success stories. Hope I will be one.
