Denver, first I'd like to say thanks for jumping in my thread. I've read so many of your posts here and really appreciate your thoughts on my sitch!
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Why are you afraid of confronting your W about OM?
This is a great question.
I think I'm afraid to bring it up with the limited proof. She acts suspicious: cell phone behavior, web history shows and interest in Facebook privacy settings, a few long calls to possible OM. (One call was immediately after dropping the bomb and leaving the house!) I did find a picture in her email, but it was discovered via snooping. I don't want to destroy her trust.
She works with OM, so there aren't very many calls on her cell phone. They both have iPhones which use the iMessage app, thus avoiding text messaging showing on the phone bill.
I'm also afraid that it would rock the boat too much. Right now she's still open to spending time and talking with me. I'm afraid of losing that too.
All of those are good reasons IMO, except for the rocking the boat. I don't see any reason not to confront a spouse who is cheating just to avoid rocking the boat.
As for the others, well, I get it. And it is probably best. Like I said before, I would continue to snoop on a limited basis. In other words, don't get consumed by it.
One idea might be to sit down with your W and talk to her about your concerns in a very general fashion.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
