I went MIA. I was going to post butt my wife put a new code on the computer so i wouldn't snoop on her anymore. so I had to do a work about. Thankfully, she didn't find the gps unit on her car....so I took it off.
Ill try to get to all the questions.
background. I first came here in 2010 after I nearly had an affair with a co-worker. my w found out and said that she wanted out, out out. I bought DB, DR at the time and then never read them. My W found them and thought I was tricking her into staying with new age mumbo jumbo. So I threw both books away in front of my wife. After that we kinda swept things under the rug.
We muddled along, but this year I started to get very suspicious of my wife. I did a "affair" chemical test on her panties earlier this year, but it came back negative. However, she was acting withdrawn, no interest in sex, spending a couple nights a a week away from home, she lost about 20lbs, started exercising, coloring her hair and grooming "down there" - she never did that in our whole marriage. After the test was negative, I tried to calm the thoughts with eastern meditation techniques.
I went to the libery and got the DB book and read it three times before it had to go back. I took notes too. I think I read somewhere that affairs are a form of abuse on the partner and you should not let the abuse continue which is why I exposed to them and my kids.
I told her about the affair test I did on her underwear and she went ballistic and got into a huge fight. saying that she she should have dumped my behind two years ago, saying she hated what I've become, saying I was fat and ugly and over. The good thing is that she said that she didn't want to get divorce for sure, but that if we did stay married it would be in paper only. She would be free to date. We wouldn't have any hugs, kisses, s-e-x or sleeping on the same floor of the house. I would be free to live in the in-law apartment we have in the basement if I wanted or I could chose the office spare. I would have to give my paycheck to her and she'd give me a allowance of $100 every two weeks. The rest would go to kids, bills and her stuff. Her check would go into a separate bank account and she'd pay 1/2 of the bills too. I thought this was a pretty good sign and I told her I was glad she wasn't thinking divorce, but that I had to think about the other stuff.
Later, I thought about it and that's when I did the spying stuff. It was after that I confronted.
Now that I have done it, I'm feeling some regret. Part of me just feels that I need to go the fully monty with the exposure. I mean I can't undo it can I? so what's the harm in confronting my buddy at his work. I really, really think my wife would respect me for being a man. It seems that many here think it's a bad idea?
