Hang in there. I am in the middle of a WAW success story - and I've even done some of the stupid things. I am lucky in that we have always had a GREAT relationship and had been able to talk.
The best advice I can give is to NOT smother or pressure them and to push GENTLY for some type of counseling. We're not out of the woods yet, but we are on the road to recovery.
Both of us got so busy with life, careers and kids - that we forgot to work on us. There were things that both of us did that frustrated the other person, and she chose to obsess over her issues with me and I chose to ignore my issues with her. What happens is that she sits around thinking she is near perfect - because I am ALWAYS happy and ALWAYS there for her, with NO complaints or problems....while she is no longer discussing her issues with me (since I don't handle that too well, at times), but rather, letting them erode our marriage.
One thing I tell her and have always told her is "same team." We HAVE to be on the same team. If not, we're done before we begin.
