Piecing - Round 1

[Denver_2010]

Just read some on the Love and Logic website. That sounds like what I want to do! It sounds like what my W and I have talked about doing... but damn she has a hard time being consistent.

[BC39]

Hi Denver,

I've been following your sitch for a while and I just wanted to say thanks. I find my sitch, other than times frames, is very similar to yours. Although it may not seem that way when you read my post as I have a hard time articulating my thoughts and circumstances-this is one of the reasons your posts have been very helpful to me.

I'm very happy for you on the progress you've made. Hope you keep sharing

[Denver_2010]

Hi Denver,

I've been following your sitch for a while and I just wanted to say thanks. I find my sitch, other than times frames, is very similar to yours. Although it may not seem that way when you read my post as I have a hard time articulating my thoughts and circumstances-this is one of the reasons your posts have been very helpful to me.

I'm very happy for you on the progress you've made. Hope you keep sharing

Thanks Cor! I'm really, really, happy to hear that you and your W are working through things. Feel free to keep in touch on my thread. Take care.

[figgeroni]

that's my issue too...consistency....

I have been working on it...

mostly...I get tired of feeling like a pile because I married a douchecanoe (well two) that put my sweet boys through crap and back to get to a healthy spot

it all boils down to guilt, which I have in spades

BUT

I have learned, through Love and Logic, that consistency is actually better for everyone and easier and shows love better AND MAKES THE GUILT BETTER....

[Denver_2010]

that's my issue too...consistency....

I have been working on it...

mostly...I get tired of feeling like a pile because I married a douchecanoe (well two) that put my sweet boys through crap and back to get to a healthy spot

it all boils down to guilt, which I have in spades

BUT

I have learned, through Love and Logic, that consistency is actually better for everyone and easier and shows love better AND MAKES THE GUILT BETTER....

I think that's always been why my W has been so easy on SS. Guilt. From the outside looking in though, it's just spoiling. And I agree, it isn't good in the long run.

[BC39]

Denver whats your take on R discussions during piecing? My W and I haven't had one since our piecing 'really' started a couple months ago. Saying that, everything has been great, if fact if you walked into my house at any particular time lately you wouldn't even know we've had recent problems.

Do I ask W her thoughts on R or just keep my mouth shut?

[Denver_2010]

My W and I don't really have R talks right now either. At least as they pertain to what we went through. Certainly, we still have talks about whatever may be going on with our R now, such as minor arguments, etc. I don't ask W if she is still committed to the M, because I know that she is. I don't ask her if she has contact with OM, because I know that she doesn't, and when he has contacted her, she has told me about it without me asking.

W and I are really trying to put the past behind us and focus on the here and now.

That said, I do like an idea that Jack3beans suggested. He asks his W every so often if he is doing right by her. This is not something that I've done yet, but I do plan on using it. Not to get into any serious R talk (unless there is a problem of course), but just to make sure that she knows that it is important to me.

[Concerned_Listener]

Denver,
I thought I would stop by and check out your situation. You've been thru a tough couple of years. I can see you're in the early phase of Piecing. It's a tough, emotional place to be. The R doesn't have it's "feet on the ground yet." I'll check in periodically, and help when I can.

CL

[Denver_2010]

Thanks CL! Always appreciate words of advice and encouragement!

[LITB]

How you doing Denver?