instead of yelling at Nick (my son) for constantly forgetting his homework, i tell him the natural consequence for forgetting his homework is an F and an F means grounding for a week and grounding for a week means GROUNDING....
I lay it out for him...we go over it...I remind him once and then I let him do what he does
I just follow through with the consequences (which is the tough part for me...the keeping to the follow through because I want to just give in...it's easier to give in)
but
it works....
after a couple of times of strick follow through (and when he whines about losing his privelidges I remind him without shaming the steps of the follow through...very nonchalantly) then he understands and there are no more fights about it
he understand that coming home late means GROUNDING
he weighs his consequence and makes a decision
less fighting at the house for sure
he still makes decisions I don't like but...they are HIS to make...it's that giving up of control
sometimes, he has told me, the grounding is worth the extra half an hour he needed to work things out with his girlfriend or he has decided to come home instead of finishing something because he knows that he will be grounded...no questions so he just comes home instead of trying to weedle out of it
