The house is for sale. So sad, Family is breaking.

[FloydMan]

Thanks! - Yes, I agree and we discussed that in therapy. We both neglected each other’s emotional needs, but to her that seems weak in a man. I chose other outlets other than an A. I did more coaching and stuff with the kids. She does like sex and we were doing it, but is not that much of a ‘cuddler’. She never complained about the frequency, but the intimacy outside the BR she says was missing.
I also agree on the consistent changes. I did not show enough of that especially when my anxiety ran high because of the breach of trust that she refused/refuses to deal with. I needed to manage that in a different way, though the therapist said she must be engaged in that process too.
I agree too that she is trying to drive me away with her anger and treatment of me. I don’t see any hint of guilt though, just distain. This is getting very contentious on the legal front as she is making it – she is adamant about no reconciliation and having more custody of the kids and dog.
I don’t want to show he the book, but rather the 2 day intensive with Michelle. I don’t think I can convince her.
No, I am definitely not pushing for a D….the opposite. She knows this and is angrier that I am stalling and disagreeing with it. She seems full steam ahead and even the other day said “would I have gone this far if it’s not what I wanted?”. She seems so full of resolve.
We are in Canada (Toronto area) and here, you need Separation for 1 year before filing for divorce, but all legal matters are settled during separation (custody, financial settlements, selling of marital home etc). It’s a no-fault divorce jurisdiction.
We will be having a meeting with her lawyer, my lawyer, me and her in a few weeks to settle financials and negotiate terms. My lawyer is big on reconciliation, hers is not. He wants to take a run at her and give her the ‘real’ facts about D and what we are getting into. almost a scared straight tactic.
One of the other things that helped her conviction of Sep/D was the exposure of the separation in May to family and friends. She waited until Father’s Day (late June) to remove her wedding ring. She got up that morning and told me “Today I will stop wearing my ring”. Happy Father’s Day. I did not respond.
Are your two staring to work it out? Is there a possibility with you two? Were you this far down the path legally etc?