Do I Have a Chance?

[complicated]

Update: So H called me from his vacation this morning. He said D15 tried calling him late last night but he didn't pick up. He asked me if I knew what she wanted and I said I didn't even know she called but said she did ask me if he had service where he was because she knew he didn't pick up when I called.

That initiated a conversation. He said that when he talked to the kids they said they just wanted him to be happy. I told him that kids don't always speak their mind because they don't want to disappoint. He genuinely seemed sorry that he has hurt everyone, but I'm sure especially the kids.

We are going to talk when he gets back home Saturday night. He said he is tired of living with his parents and that he had really enjoyed the time that we had spent together recently. He said he had been contemplating moving back -admitted that the kids would like that too.

I think he was surprised that I had calmed down so soon since usually I stayed mad for a while. I told him that I had really been working on myself and he said he had noticed. The kids said they had noticed also. Before DB, well and even after, sometimes I would send him interesting articles. He said that he had read some of them and they made him think. I told him that after reading some of this stuff it made me want to work even harder on our marriage. I told him about some of the statistics and effects on kids and how many people wish they had worked harder to save their marriages and that's why I wasn't giving up.

I know, I know what you guys are going to say. Sometimes it seems like you are in a conversation and it seems like they are in a place receptive to really listening. This was one of those moments. I know that the books say you can't jump back in too soon and especially talk about R.

I can be gullible so I hope I am not taking this the wrong way. Afterall, he is on a vacation with another woman who he keeps telling me is just a "friend". When I reminded him that I read those texts where she said she loved him etc, etc, he replied that was a long time ago and that her and many other people think he needs to give this another go.

I still haven't called a coach. I definitely won't let him move back until he is ready to work with me on our marriage. I don't need another person to take care of and pick up after. I know the girls would really like to have him back for the holidays because we are always together as a family. Except for D15. This is going to be a tough one because she is very hurt. I also don't want to ruin everything I have worked for, eventhough I have had my share of slips.

Kat, do you and your x ever talk about things? I don't know your sitch but were you DBing then? Does he regret not working on it? You seem to have your head on straight and just wondered.

I hope I didn't set myself back again by that conversation this morning. He seemed genuinely receptive. Sometimes, even this morning, something will come up that we don't agree on. One of us did something the other didn't agree about. We both said that doesn't need to be rehashed. For me, that is a good sign because before he kept telling me everything I did wrong since the day we met.