So here's my story Part 3

[labug]

her weekends with OM involved her not having to tend to any of our adult responsibilities / real world stuff.
That's the kind of thing most women want, someone to treat them special. Don't tell me you can't figure out how to do it. When you get to that point plan a weekend away, post it here and we'll help you tweak it.

When my kids were little I longed to be taken to a nice hotel room where I didn't have to clean, I could sleep late, drink a glass of wine in the afternoon, nap, read, without interruption, to my heart's content and be on my time schedule!

If the compliments were just before the BD, that was too late. He was already lighting her up. You had no chance then but don't take that as a failure, just bad timing. You may get the opportunity again.

Don't try to fix her (I asked how I can pull back / help her do for herself without being rude, but didn't get much of an answer) just be supportive and show that you're listening. Women talk about things that are bothering them and don't always want a fix. It's just how many of us work through things.