Originally she agreed to marriage counseling, but over the last few weeks we have progressed from there to separation, then her deciding only to pursue individual counseling and now her list includes seeking legal separation and rental of an apartment.
Unfortunately MC rarely has any impact on a WAS. They are mainly there so they can check it off their list of "things they tried to save the M" (even though they really don't want to save it) and also so they can have someone else validate their actions. Inevitably after the WAS sits like a bump on a log through several sessions the MC will mention "maybe separation is the best thing for you" and suddenly the WAS will light up and embrace the MC's "idea" with open arms.
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There is no physical abuse, no drugs and no infidelity in our relationship. Our friends and family were blown away with the news. To me, I don't see why we couldn't easily fix our problems.
You are where most of us were at the beginning. "There's nothing wrong with me, I'm a great H who does everything right, there's some kind of affliction with my W and she needs to get it fixed." Stop those thoughts right now. Do some serious soul-searching. There are reasons your W is a WAW, you need to figure out what those reasons are and do 180's on those things. DB'ing is all about changing the one and only thing you have control over- YOU. Make yourself into a spouse only a fool would leave. And have patience, you've got to show your W consistent changes over a long period of time (months) before she'll start to believe you really have changed.
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I will be expressing my love and begging for her forgiveness one moment, then threatening her with divorce and financial destruction the next.
Stop both ASAP. Read Sandi's 180 tips (sticky at the top of the forum) and LIVE those tips.
