Quasi bad update and need guidance... please read and offer thoughts as I / We are not truly ready for piecing, evidently...
So last night W starts a R convo. Informs me that she has been still been texting OM, as a friend so to speak, yet have been arguing or whatever. She again, claims this is the last time, however, she did send him a FB friend request as she wants to keep him in that regard. My response is NC! I let her know, calmly and genuinely, that I appreciate her honesty, yet when I say NC, I mean NC in forms (texting, FB, email, what not). During the convo, W also talks about how we "jumped into things too quick." I agree. That other than cuddling, she's not ready for more, that she wants more time. So again, I ask, what will you do with the time, this time, if anything. Add on that she sees potential for us, cannot "fathom" the idea of not being with me, is hopeful that Christmas magic will help renew her desire for me to have an R with sex. If not, she's planning on filing at the beginning of the new year. WTF???
In re: to the NC with OM, she says I'm being controlling, I say no, it's a boundary for me. She responds with, the previous boundary of not dating anyone set way back when, that she clearly broke. I let her know that I was weak then, but am stronger now, and not willing to budge as that contributed to where we are.
So to try to make this long story short and spare some details, at the end of the convo, when it's time for bed, she checks FB, and OM accepted her request. She says she was went to withdraw the request, but obviously it's too late; and unfriending him again would be too difficult. She asks if she can sleep in our bed. I begrudgingly agree, but say no cuddling. She tries to cuddle. I'm withdrawn. I move her arm off of me. I pull away. She gets mad and then goes to her room to sleep. About 15 minutes later she comes back and asks if she can sleep there as she just defriended OM. I agree. We do snuggle, but it's different. This morning, each of us withdrawn, but polite.
So now what do I do? Go dim again or what? I am so confused, I feel like I'm back at square one when the bomb dropped (sorta). I am proud of myself for setting and enforcing the boundary.